February 2019 – Family Highlights – Heidi, Tyson, Calan & Evan

Highlights

We take a “snow” trip up to Frazier Park

February was another wintery (for SoCal) month again this year. We had lots of storms and rain come through. We always loved when the rain would come, although a new and damaging leak in the upstairs skylight definitely changed that on one level. Otherwise, the boys enjoyed hunkering down and hiding out in a massive fort we built in the living room using bamboo poles and tons of sheets and the pop-up tents. Calan, especially spent a lot of time reading in one little “room”, a side cover that was part of this complex fort. February also brought us the Superbowl, and while the game wasn’t too action-packed this year, we made sure to make the most out of preparing tasty “football food” and nibbling on it throughout the afternoon. Calan loved watching the game, and even Evan took in some of it this year.

Between storms, it was always a treat to get outside. Calan, Evan and Dada made sure to take many bike trips along our favorite trail. We took in the beautiful green landscapes and flowing waters along the creek trail. We road to Pitts Ranch park and even made it to our goal, the Camarillo Library and back. We got Evan on the bigger pedal bikes for part of the trail, then towed him in the bike trailer the rest of the way before picking up his bike we locked up on the way home. He needs something a little larger, so we’re still looking for that as his balance bike and smaller pedal bikes just don’t cut it for the longer distances we’re doing together now.

Our favorite part of the month was a day trip up to Frazier Park mid-month. The storms have brought plenty of snow up there, so we figured it wouldn’t be too hard to find a place to sled. The weekend we did go though, it had warmed up some, so there wasn’t a lot of snow in town where it was lower elevation. There was some up a little higher, but we didn’t have chains for the van. It was also pretty crowded with everyone else wanting to check out some of the Frazier Park snow. We had a great time making the drive to the area though and eating a good lunch at a restaurant where we had a few snowball fights outside. The kids absolutely loved it, along with getting bundled up with all the snow gear we compiled mostly from hand-me-downs. Despite the conditions and people, we did find a spot right off the road that was just right for the kids to try out sledding for the first time. We went up and down about a 30′, slight incline. Nothing too fast, but enough that the kids were happy. It was made more exciting as a new storm started brewing and snow flurries came down around us. They didn’t want to leave so we enticed them by offering to stop at the McDonald’s playhouse in Castaic about a third of the way home. It was a good thing as the I-5 ended up closing due to poor weather conditions and some accidents just a few hours after we passed through. Once home, it was all we could do to keep the boys from talking about coming back again the next week.

Calan

This month we wrapped up a lot of clarity and information gathering, plus got some support in place when it comes to helping Calan. First, for understanding even more about Calan we had a final meeting with Dr. Beverly, who had finished up her comprehensive assessment. The key take-away is that he is a highly intense kid. This certainly isn’t a bad thing, but his brain is wired differently than most other kids in this way. As far as the assessment, Calan falls into the profoundly gifted status when compared to other 8-year-olds. Whether he realizes it or not, there is a strong need to be engaged intellectually in just the right ways or he can begin to struggle emotionally. A kid needs to play, build, imagine and all those things. In Calan’s case, he also thrives when he is learning and using his head. But on this emotional side, he is not nearly as “advanced” and this makes him unable to regulate his mental states consistently in any kind of tough situation. He was given an official disorder “label” for this but at least it gives us a foundation from which to work from to zero in more on what he needs: Stimulation for his intelligence and the tools to deal with the disregulation. As they said before, it’s a long road. But a road that can lead to great things if we stay on it’s sometimes bumpy and twisted path. For now, it’s good to be aware of these things and have a framework to help him develop the best way possible for him and make for a happier, better-adjusted child and eventually adult. He’s got an amazing mind, but a complicated one. Our goal is to steer it and help Calan learn how to steer it to lead him to great things.

We met with the IEP team for a final session as well and discussed a lot of what Calan truly needs in light of everything we’ve uncovered in the last few months and what Dr. Beverly presented. With all the input, information and observations collected the team arrived at the conclusion that Calan doesn’t need an actual IEP, but rather a 504 plan from the state when it comes to school. This can help support the things Calan needs most. such as a regular therapist during the academic year along with a math tutor to help Calan pursue thinking and advanced math in a way that is healthy and beneficial. Feeding the intellectual brain so-to-speak with a positive mentor. Following this, Calan had sessions with Ms. Kim (child therapist). We started introducing a reward system to help him with tasks related to school along with accepting and using emotional building tasks like the Calm app, a new coping strategy or staying calm when he needs something urgently and feels the urge to break down because of it. Rewards can also be tied to doing “non-preferred” tasks that these types of kids can really struggle with. For Calan, it’s probably practicing violin despite him happily attending lessons and loving group performances. His actual rewards include things like getting a say in doing a ‘non-preferred task’ or not, or having the privilege to do something he likes to do with school, or more time playing fun educational games like Prodigy. In the big picture the goal is for him to “do school” more consistently with fewer battles, where his intense, emotional responses can actually get in the way of what seems like endless potential for this kid.

Evan

As we see Evan enjoying preschool so much and the advantages that come with having the boys apart for parts of the week Mama decided to put Evan on the wait list for CAPE kindergarten. It’s a long shot, but it’s the one place that would offer the most conducive schedule of a shorter days and later starts to the school schedule.

Aside from preschool, Evan has fun doing math in online math appl “IXL” and has been practicing counting higher and higher lately.

The biggest highlight of recent note is the discovery that Evan has made friend at preschool named “Tovie.”. She’s a cute four-year-old who is very outgoing with everyone, including the other kids. It seems that Evan and Tovie are forming a sweet little connection at school. Cute little hugs after school and smiley interactions waiting in line before school are just too much. It’s clear that Evan is drawn to that kind of energy and it’s great for him to finally have that opportunity to make special friends.

Notable quotes this month:

Evan: “Mama, Calan wants you to come up,” said helping his brother get Mama’s attention.

Mama: “I’ll be up in a minute.”

Evan: A minute later… “Mama, how long will that minute be?”